I right now so can't help but laugh at my ever so confident self stepping into 2020 with a cart full of hopes, now only to realise that it would be more than great to just make it upto the billing counter. Why did March take forever to end, shouldn't it be November already and fliers for "2021 is going to be my year" start cropping up? Well, these are the strange unforeseen times of our lives, but yet here we are waking up and sleeping to only one thing, thoughts and more thoughts. Good, evil, haunting, intriguing, new school, old school, hypocritical and what not, all kinds of thoughts. Everyday is a new day doesn't make sense anymore. Tommorow is again the same long yesterday, yet we wake up with thoughts of doing something new productive with all this down time. Many of us really dont know what exactly that is and go back gloomily to our not so productive selves. Ofcourse, kudos to those who succeed. There are also people like me who think it is definitely more than okay to not be productive, it is okay right? We have lived all these days reliving every bad thing that had happened to us over and over and here we are debating our thoughts if the worst of all is yet to happen or not happen. We have cursed the government our entire lives, irrespective of our political stance, and today we don't know if we want ourselves to be right or wrong. What if we are right, and thousands succumb. So, may be it's better we are wrong or not. Again, the thoughts. We spend most of the day scrolling through insta and twitter tabs, gawking at others oh so perfect family times, immensely motivated home work out sessions, lovey dovey couple selfies and the silly emoji challenges. And now we are again thinking, is this supposed to bring our not so picture perfect lives down? Isn't the bigger picture supposed to be thousands of people losing their livelihood and becoming homeless when we have a the often overlooked comfort on our heads? Are we shallow, shouldn't we have the quintessential responsibility towards society? To get out of this privileged guilt, we turn to read those impulsive cover-bought fiction books and just after the foreword, we think shouldn't we be reading about global solidarity or frontliners sacrifices. Shouldn't we be checking the statistics of the pandemic curve and impart this fresh radiant knowledge onto the poor clueless parents glued to the TV sets where the creepy newsreader keeps announcing dooms day is coming after us? Shouldn't we enlighten our already frightened old neighbour couple? The thoughts never ever cease. What this pandemic time has taught us is going to be etched into our lives like never before.We have our lives planned or didn't plan, now all we do is wake up thinking what if we had done that or not done that, what if we will do that or not do that and there is no stop to the what if's. And we all know so many if's is definitely not good.
Someone interestingly called this pandemic time "the indefinite grounding time called by Mother Earth", quite sensible. We left no stone unturned to jeopardize our harmony with her for every possible conceivable pleasure. Only if we can learn from our mistakes and treat her with more respect , may be we can stop ourselves from running off the cliff. And, again there is the may be. So, as the longest dreadful March has come to an end, all we can do is try not think about how long the next day or month or year is going to be and step into whatever comes , a little wiser, calmer and lighter with hope and faith. Because that is all we can do, right!!!