Dad....today I want to write to you, about you and for you. I am clearly short of words and no amount of gratitude could ever bring my heart and soul to a halt from thanking you. My childhood was the best part of my life and it was so because of you. From helding me in your arms to holding me on your shoulders, you always made sure you were with me and for me. There were days when I got to see you only once a month but the memory of that day lingered till the next time and I never really missed you. It should have been very tough for you to lose your father at a very young age and strive through life to give your family the best of everything, yet you did it all. Whenever a problem popped up, for me solution was just a phone call away. 24 years of my life, I was just your daughter..a joyous girl with lots of aspirations, a blissful soul with high hopes and content heart with many desires.
5 years ago, you let go of my hand with an ardent hope that someone else would now take care of me just the way u did. My eyes well up whenever I think of that day, that moment when u bid me bye with tears rolling down and we both knew many things would change forever after that moment. I believed in your trust and walked towards the door of new beginnings with so many dreams.However, it didn't take me much time to realise that the path I walked onto is after all not that rosy. You taught me to be pure, humble,helpful, to love, to respect and said these were enough to live life in a righteous path but you never said these things wouldn't suffice to survive in this world.You never taught me to be fake, sly or devious but those were the things people were looking for in each other. I was suddenly lost. For the first time in my life I missed you. There were days I didn't want to talk to you even though you were just a phone call away because I knew your voice would break me and I would want to come back to you. I didn't want to give up on something which the society considered very "sacred" and breaking it, is regarded as a taboo.
I knew you could see through my pain but I was determined to fight alone and not let you down. When things started turning uglier than expected and when I saw you taking the blows from people who dont even deserve to take your name, let alone talk to you, just for me, I realized I was fighting the wrong battle. I was trying to win for you, for me but I was losing us both. I put the values you taught me, my self respect, and your pride, everything at stake to win a absurd fight with people who dont even deserve to be addressed as people. I know not in your wildest dreams you would have thought I would go through the kind of abuse I did. So don't curse yourself for what happened, I know you do but that's just sheer destiny.
That day when I had to walk away from that toxic relationship, I was not surprised to find your sturdy hand waiting to hold mine again and your shoulder for me to cry on. No amount of tears I shed can thank you enough for the way you stood by me through this storm. The way you guarded me from all the possible negativity and helped me stand back again, which clearly wouldn't have been possible if not for you, you were always there. I know I let you down but I could only ask you to have faith in me. I was always a proud daughter and will always be. But today I promise I will give my heart and soul to make you a proud father. I share your blood and a piece of your heart and that is enough to take me a long way. I would often think out of spite u didn't teach me how to live in this malicious world. No, I was wrong. You raised me right and I can say this out loud with head held high. You gave me the wings to fly. You taught me to be fair, kind, strong, independent and that is quite enough to survive in this world truthfully. This world deserves more people like you and I am blessed to be your daughter. Thankyou for everything, you will always be my hero and my first, forever love.
Miss you more today...
Always
Your little girl.